surmounts:

You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks what you do for fun.

rneerkat:

with great power comes a great electricity bill

retiredjesus:

*fucks something serious up*

me: shit my bad

(Source: retiredjesus)

untexting:

it’s so sad when you crave someone you can’t have

cumsock:

phukers:

I’m going to nickname my child lil Bitch 

i see you’re passing on the family name

splders:

*eats 4 slices of pizza*

im so full

*eats another 4 slices of pizza*